How to Get Slapped by Every Age Demographic
by Michael Weintraub Every aspiring politician must learn the basics of running for office, and of course, that includes voting blocs and...
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times new roman
- Mar 3, 2021
Bill for Short
by Jake Mohamed Hello. My name is William Harris Higglebottom. Some people call me Bill for short. But I correct them because my name is...
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One of the Dans
- Feb 17, 2021
The Five Guys of Five Guys
The Five Guys of Five Guys The craving hits. You would like a burger. Or a milkshake. Perhaps both? Maybe, but your personal trainer,...
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Delaney Bien
- Feb 9, 2021
A Comprehensive List of Things that Look Like Mitch McConnell but Aren't
Trigger Warning: Blood, Body Horror, Mitch McConnell In no particular order, I present what I have termed "Schrodinger's McConnell"...
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Daniel Melcer
- Jan 26, 2021
Readers Respond: Vaccines
We asked readers why they should get the COVID vaccine first- here is what they had to say.
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Michael
- Jan 26, 2021
How To Sound Like A Really Smart Dumbass
Just follow these easy steps and you’ll sound like the smartest dumbass around!
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times new roman
- Jan 3, 2021
Top 10 Unconventional Things to Call Your Boyfriend During Sex
Ditch “daddy” at the door! Spice up your sex life with these 10 rare gems.
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willy unterkoefler
- Nov 25, 2020
Brandy Melville Drops the B, Now Selling Exclusively to Men
MANHATTAN - After witnessing a steady decline in sales over the last five quarters, Brandy Melville announces a startling pivot into the...
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Lior Zippel
- Nov 4, 2020
Self Described Libertarian Votes for Police State
Medfield, MA – Citing what he called “a disturbing trend of government overreach” and “increased disruption among protestors and...
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Ben Harrold
- Oct 22, 2020
How to Get Out of Social Commitments During a Pandemic
If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent the past few years mastering the art of weaseling your way out of spending time with your...
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times new roman
- Oct 20, 2020
Dear Abby, My Roommate...
Dear Abby, I am having trouble with my roommate. She always stays up late at night, typing on her bright computer screen and playing loud...
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Rowan Van Lare
- Oct 20, 2020
How to crush your Zoom crush!
Are you a Northeastern student who loves STEM but hates basic communication? Are you nonetheless looking for that special love...
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willy unterkoefler
- Oct 12, 2020
To Improve Accuracy, U.S. Census to Begin Terminating the Uncounted
Pressed for time due to COVID-19 related delays, the U.S. Census Bureau
will now be taking additional measures to ensure its count remains a
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willy unterkoefler
- Aug 14, 2020
Pandemic Tips for Returning College Students
by Willy Unterkoefler The deaths of hundreds of thousands of people from a raging viral contagion don't mean that you can't live your...
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One of the Dans
- Aug 9, 2020
TNR's Official Apology to Rod Silva
Fuck you, Rod Silva. You irredeemable piece of shit. We didn’t interview you because you’re not even a real presidential candidate. The...
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One of the Dans
- Aug 9, 2020
A Letter from Rod Silva
Hello HELLO! I’m Rod Silva, Nutrition Party Candidate for President of the United States, and here are the things you need to know about...
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Rowan Van Lare
- Jul 30, 2020
A Series of Investigative Journalism: Rodog on Coronavirus FINALE
If you didn’t know, the Novel Coronavirus is the reason we have been brought home. Due to my dogged determination, for which I get my...
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One of the Dans
- Jul 20, 2020
The Third Party Candidates: Who are they?
In one month, the Democratic Party and Republican Party will nominate Joe Biden and Donald Trump, respectively, as their nominees for...
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Rowan Van Lare
- Jul 18, 2020
A Series of Investigative Journalism: Rodog on Coronavirus Part Three
If you missed it, I previously learned that the Novel Coronavirus is the reason we were all sent home from school and forced to hang out...
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AKA all the articles that were too bad to be in an issue
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