American Bullying Association identifies “Fat, Old, and Stupid Woman” as Yo Mama
After seven gripping days, the American Bullying Association (ABA) put to rest one of the biggest mysteries: the unknown woman described...
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One of the Dans
- Mar 8
Celebrate #InternationalWomensDay with these eight sexy, empowering tips to satisfy your man!
Today, we at TNR celebrate International Women’s Day - not because we have to, but because we want to. And what better way to empower the...
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Michael Weintraub
- Feb 25
I Cannot Be Silenced - Report 02: Uncovering Conspiracies
Michael Weintraub addresses the slander against him given by President of TNR and local nutcase Ryan Martin.
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Ryan Martin
- Feb 19
Times New Roman Writer Michael Weintraub Announces Retirement Following Exposé
On February 8th 2022, Times New Roman journalist Michael Weintraub published a controversial exposé, in which he accuses current...
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Michael
- Feb 8
The Truth About Ryan Martin & Dan Carr — Report 01: Uncovering Conspiracies
DECLASSIFIED FROM JUNE 21, 2021 Sometimes our elected officials lead us astray, and it is the responsibility, nay, the sacred duty, of...
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Michael
- Sep 24, 2021
Top 9 Star Wars Movies, But It’s All ISEC
Who shot first? It may have been ISEC.
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times new roman
- Sep 16, 2021
Top Ten Reds
TNR's new recruits from 2021 objectively rate the world's hottest color!
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times new roman
- Sep 16, 2021
Top 10 Blues
TNR's Fall 2021 new recruits definitively rank blue: the favorite color of unoriginal people everywhere!
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grace
- Jul 15, 2021
top 10 grace
grace amazing grace the grace of god grace city church grace helbig saying grace Grace (2009 dir. Paul Solet) “State of Grace” by Taylor...
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Michael
- Jun 28, 2021
Top 10 Johns
TNR's Michael finally gives us all what we've been waiting for: A list of the best Johns!
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Michael
- Apr 19, 2021
How to Clean Up the Day After
TNR's Resident Hangover Specialist, Michael, is here to guide you through your worst morning-after!
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Michael
- Mar 15, 2021
How to Get Slapped by Every Age Demographic
by Michael Weintraub Every aspiring politician must learn the basics of running for office, and of course, that includes voting blocs and...
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times new roman
- Mar 3, 2021
Bill for Short
by Jake Mohamed Hello. My name is William Harris Higglebottom. Some people call me Bill for short. But I correct them because my name is...
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One of the Dans
- Feb 17, 2021
The Five Guys of Five Guys
The Five Guys of Five Guys The craving hits. You would like a burger. Or a milkshake. Perhaps both? Maybe, but your personal trainer,...
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Delaney Bien
- Feb 9, 2021
A Comprehensive List of Things that Look Like Mitch McConnell but Aren't
Trigger Warning: Blood, Body Horror, Mitch McConnell In no particular order, I present what I have termed "Schrodinger's McConnell"...
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Daniel Melcer
- Jan 26, 2021
Readers Respond: Vaccines
We asked readers why they should get the COVID vaccine first- here is what they had to say.
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Michael
- Jan 26, 2021
How To Sound Like A Really Smart Dumbass
Just follow these easy steps and you’ll sound like the smartest dumbass around!
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times new roman
- Jan 3, 2021
Top 10 Unconventional Things to Call Your Boyfriend During Sex
Ditch “daddy” at the door! Spice up your sex life with these 10 rare gems.
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