Are you a cisgendered heterosexual individual? Are you sure? Okay. Do you have queer friends? No no I believe that you have a black friend, thatâs not what Iâm asking. No, you donât need to tell me their name. Look buddy, let me just tell you how to be a good ally.
Be Sexist
Being sexist can be the best way to support your genderqueer friends when theyâre having a tough time. If you have a trans femme friend whoâs feeling down about current events, call her a bitch. If you have trans masc friends, gently remind them daily that all men are trash. When your friends call you out for being bigoted, you can assure them youâre not being transphobic, youâre being sexistâand affirming their gender while doing so!
Kiss them
You may not be gay, but they are. So throw them a bone and kiss them! Just a little bit, like only for five minutes. They definitely donât already have a crush on you (since queer people never catch feelings for straighties), so whatâs the harm! Go easy on the tongue though.
Take An âAm I Gay?â Quiz
Are you feeling different after making out with your friend? Like maybe youâve had some sort of awakening? You should take an online âAm I Gay?â quiz, just to see what happens. You know, prove to yourself how straight you are. If you donât take it then that's a little gay tbh.
Use Slurs
Some people make it their lifeâs mission to harass and invalidate the existence of others. There are many strategies to deal with homophobes, but one surprisingly easy thing you can do is call them cishets! Of course, that just means cisgendered heterosexual and isnât derogatory in the slightest, but it sure sounds like a slur doesnât it! Best part is they donât know what it means, and will likely vehemently deny being one. At this point, youâve checkmated them. Go in for the kiss.
Affirm People's Genders
If you have a newly out trans friend or know someone who is questioning, affirm whatever they feel most comfortable with, and ask them who they want to know. Go out of your way to affirm their gender with every chance you can. Not only will you make yourself better at remembering their new pronouns, but youâll help them become more comfortable and accepting of themselves as they grow into the best version of them.
HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!
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