Ryan Martin. What kind of man has two first names (three if you count his middle name, “Francis”)?. The kind of man you can’t trust. You could rearrange all of his names and it would still make sense. Francis Martin Ryan. What a buffoon.
He wishes I would resign, but I cannot. I WILL not. Nobody can silence the truth! I am doing a full investigative report on the murder Zamboni situation following my own near death experience (which will be detailed soon), and nobody can stop me. Not Dan. Not Ryan. Not even my mother.
In fact, from my preliminary findings, this doesn’t just involve Ryan, Big Mail, and Mitch McConnell. This also involves Samuel L. Jackson, every single teal Toyota Corolla, and the Byzantine Empire. I’ve already received mysterious threats and have been tailed by several black SUVs, so I know I’m getting close. I will report back soon. This has been a special report by Michael Weintraub.
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