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  • Michael Weintraub

Students Relieved by Northeastern's Unrelated Explosive Sequel

FRIDAY, SEP 26TH 1:24PM: After an exciting report of a sequel to Northeastern’s hit movies Explosion and Explosion 2, Northeastern University reports that the sequel, Explosion 3: Escape from Curry, is not, in fact, a sequel.


“There is no reason to believe that last night’s incident was in any way connected to the incident in Holmes Hall on September 13th.” -Northeastern University in their Update on Thursday night’s security incident


Times New Roman previously reported on Northeastern’s Marvel-like approach to this explosive new series, but it turns out we were wrong. We would like to formally retract our previous statements, as we clearly see now that Explosion 3: Escape from Curry is absolutely in NO WAY connected at all even in the slightest bit to the September 13th releases of Explosion and Explosion 2.


“I think it’s a reboot,” said Northeastern freshman Intha Wayallda Time. “They know how much we loved the first two, but they wrote themselves into a corner. Like all good franchises, they decided to keep the nostalgia, and lose the plot!”


Whatever the case may be, you can trust that Times New Roman will keep you updated…if we feel like it.